Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
