Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
