How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
