We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
