He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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