there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
