So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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