they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
