Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
