I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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