Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
too bad you live with your parents still
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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