look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize