i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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