Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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