it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just pee around me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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