too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
PANTIES FOUND
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
