he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize