im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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