need another drink. this is the easiest way
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize