THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
