so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Do vagina's smell?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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