You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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