I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
