why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize