6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
