just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
