what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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