Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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