gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
