Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
