So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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