Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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