Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
