Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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