Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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