Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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