i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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