words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
