Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
