I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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