just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
