Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
