It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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