Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He told me they were just razor bumps!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
