I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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