you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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