So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Randomize
