we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
