he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
whose ass print is on the piano?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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