New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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