I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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