yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
