Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
