You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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