There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
