We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
