I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
