Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize